Believe in Something

Does this look familiar?

If not, you’ve been living under a rock.

Last week, the Supreme Court met to discuss the possible repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).  The Human Rights Campaign explains the problem thus…

The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) singles out lawfully married same-sex couples for unequal treatment under federal law.  This law discriminates in two important ways.  First, Section 2 of DOMA purports to allow states to refuse to recognize valid civil marriages of same-sex couples.  Second, Section 3 of the law carves all same-sex couples, regardless of their marital status, out of all federal statutes, regulations, and rulings applicable to all other married people—thereby denying them over 1,100 federal benefits and protections. 

For example, legally married same-sex couples cannot:

• File their taxes jointly
• Take unpaid leave to care for a sick or injured spouse
• Receive spousal, mother’s and father’s, or surviving spouse benefits under Social Security
• Receive equal family health and pension benefits as federal civilian employees

The symbol at the top adorns many Facebook pages in place of a profile picture to show support for equal rights for same sex couples and the repeal of DOMA.  It was/is a beautiful display.  Much like my friend, Leslie Kavannaugh, it struck me as different than the typical profile picture takeover for seemingly insignificant celebration like  “doppleganger week” or “talk like a pirate day”- also popular is the changing the image to announce an event or performance or promote a cause.

It felt like people were honestly and wholeheartedly reaching out to tell the world that they agree.  Love is love.  It is not the government’s right to define and restrict.  Leslie had the following to contribute…

“Similar trends always struck me as misguided emphasis on “awareness” without any action, and thus not very helpful or even sincere.

But this felt different to me–I think people weren’t changing their photos thinking that would actually impact a SCOTUS decision. They seemed to proclaiming themselves as allies and as perhaps a safe space for those they are friends with who are LGBT. I actually found it surprisingly powerful to see all the red, yet them I wondered why this social media trend struck me as feeling more sincere and worthy than others.

I ultimately changed my photo this morning (albeit to a Corgi variation of the logo) after reading posts from a new friend of ours who is a woman married to another woman (not recognized in Texas) and mother to a young child. I thought if nothing else, I can give the tiniest of nods of support to people in my own life for whom this SCOTUS decision would literally be life-changing to her family.”

Leslie mentioned the “Corgi variation” of the profile picture.  It featured 2 corgis laying next to each other on a red background so that their bodies formed an equals sign.  While the Facebook days were turning red last week, we also saw the emergence of many such variations.  My favorite happens to be the one designed by my friend Abernathy Bland (seen below).

This one caught my eye because it is 100% Abby. Many profiles transitioned to a more unique and personal adaptation of the symbol.  This made me even happier because that is the symbolic embodiment of the whole point!

We, as a community, were expressing our right to believe whatever we wish and to display that expression in any fashion. ANY fashion.  Corgis or rabbits – heart balloons or simple colored equal signs – they all got the same message across.  It doesn’t matter what ribbon you put on the present – it is going to be the same present.  If a man wants to love another man – it is still a marriage, and should be treated as such.

Yes – equality is the main thing.  We are not trying to change marriage and what it means to a couple – just the treatment of same sex couples within the umbrella.  Marriage is intrinsically special to each pair.  But equality means having the same rights as everyone else.  It is ridiculous that I felt the need to write that last sentence.

Cynthia Nixon (of Sex and the City) explained, “Gay people who want to marry have no desire to redefine marriage in any way.  When women got the right to vote, they did not redefine voting.  When African-Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter, they did not redefine eating out.  They were simply invited to the table.”

I truly agree with this statement.  I hope that my friends, gay or straight, can all enjoy happy lives with the people that they love most.  It should be that simple.

In your twenties, believe in something – make sure you show it and maybe by the time you’re not in your twenties, it will have permanently changed lives for the better.